Student testimonials
Our students testify to their varied experiences, the ways they came to Judaism, and how they feel about converting through the Chicago Jewish Conversions Program:
Video Testimonial #1
Video Testimonial #2
Video Testimonial #3
Student Experience: Lacey Conley
My interest in Judaism began when I was about ten years old and I read the book The Devil's Arithmetic by Jane Yolen. The story begins at a family's Passover Seder, and I remember being strongly drawn to the traditions described by the narrator. My family did not have any specific religious affiliation, and I think as a result of that, did not put much stock in meaningful rituals of any kind. I must have read that book at least a dozen times, and though it is a tremendously sad story in some ways, it also taught me a lot about the importance of family, community, and belief. As a teenager, I spent many years feeling as though something very significant was missing from my life. As my family became more fragmented through divorce, relocation, and the countless walls life can build between people, I realized that finding that missing piece was the only way to create a center for myself from which I could start to build the fulfilling life I wanted, and want, to have. When I was nineteen, my interest in Judaism reasserted itself, and I was again driven by a desire to learn more about it. Although I've learned about other religions, I have never been pulled towards one in the way that Judaism attracted me. I read the book What is a Jew? by Rabbi Morris K. Kertzer which was a useful introduction to Jewish culture and belief. I also became interested in the fiction of Jewish authors like Anita Diamant and Michael Chabon, whose books are still among my favorites.
My decision to convert to Judaism happened soon after the death of my grandmother in late January, 2008. Her death made me realize just how scattered and disconnected my whole family is. At her funeral, I couldn't shake the feeling that I hadn't known her at all, and that I didn't really know anyone in my family. There was nothing holding us together, no common understanding that would give us ground to stand on as a family. Less than a week after I returned to Chicago, I literally woke up one morning and thought, “Why am I not doing this?” I went straight to my computer and began searching for conversion classes in my area. I found Shaare Tikvah B'nai Zion, and have not felt a moment of regret or doubt about my decision since. I felt immediately welcomed into the community, and my sense of belonging has grown stronger and stronger over the past year. I have not replaced my family, I still love and value them tremendously; but I feel as though I am building a foundation for the family I will have in the future. My children will have the opportunity to experience the community and traditions that were such a profound absence in my early life.
One of the things I have struggled most with as a result of growing up in a family without religion is finding my own relationship with and understanding of G-d. Certainly this should always be at least in part an individual process; but the absence of any sort of guidance, and also my mother's fervent agnosticism, made it very difficult for me to explore my own feelings and beliefs. I knew that I believed in G-d, but I didn't know how to make that a part of my life. This is the most profound way that my conversion to Judaism has helped me to grow as a person. I still have so much to learn, but the things I have learned so far, and am continuing to learn, have made me a happier and more satisfied human being. I believe now that it is not so important, and indeed it is impossible, to “understand” G-d; I should instead concentrate on trying to live a good life based on the teaching of Torah, which is the best way to make G-d a part of my life. Now, I look forward to every Shabbat service, and every opportunity I have to spend time at the synagogue, because whenever I am there, I feel like I am in the right place. I have had the opportunity to experience the holidays, and learn about the customs that define how they are observed. I find so much comfort in the way that the traditional actions, words, and even foods are all significant, and all serve to make the holiday a special celebration that belongs wholly to the Jewish community.
I went home to Washington DC this December to visit my family for two weeks, one of which was the week of Hanukkah. Although they are not practicing Christians, my family celebrates Christmas as a secular holiday. I was extremely nervous about the seemingly unavoidable conflict that would ensue when I refused to take part in the holiday with them. My mother looks at my conversion as something like a silly whim that is sure to pass, no matter how many times I try to explain to her what a crucial part of my life Judaism has become. Therefore, when I repeatedly insisted on observing Hanukkah customs, her eyes rolled back in her head more times that I could count. I think this conflict will become easier as the years pass and she learns that the decision I have made is not going away. Despite the fact that there were some difficulties this year with the people around me, I did not have any regrets about “missing” Christmas. The things that I did to celebrate Hanukkah were far more meaningful to me than any Christmas celebration I can remember. I was disappointed that I was not in Chicago for the holiday, and am very much looking forward to next year when I will make a point of celebrating Hanukkah surrounded by other members of the Jewish community. For me, this experience was a strong testament to how important Judaism has become to me, and how much it is a part of my life. I did not miss Christmas, but I missed the people that would have made my first Hanukkah an even more meaningful experience toward my inclusion in the Jewish community. I feel entirely confident and positive about the choice I have made to live a Jewish life. I'm not sure whether I have found what I was looking for, or it found me, but what matters is that I am profoundly happy about where I stand today, and the foundation that Judaism gives me to support that standing.